‘Always wear clean knickers…’

I was going to wait until our camping trip to write my next post but the urge has taken over… I have just returned from the supermarket where I went to buy ‘essentials’ for our trip camping this weekend. We leave after tea tonight and will be putting our tent up at exactly 6pm when the use of expletives will be at the highest level for the year so far. It is currently freezing and pouring with rain but we are ploughing on with our plan to camp in a field with lots of other crazy families in an attempt to add to the kids memories of their childhood. It may be after this weekend they don’t look on us too fondly but we WILL have fun!!

So, after I struggled pushing the twins around the shop alongside a trolley I returned to the car and started loading the shopping. I was feeling quite smug, yeah that’s me wheeling the kids and trolley around the busy aisles slicker than Jenson Button on the streets of Monaco. Fellow shoppers stopped me to coo over my gorgeous porridge crusted twins who were thrown in their car seats as soon as they finished their last mouthful of breakfast as ‘Mammy had jobs to do’. I got the cool box hubby requested, new camping chairs for the big two and the requisite box of wine for me!! Sorted!! Twins in car, trolley returned off we set towards home to start our packing.

Half way home I got that feeling of panic you get when you know you have forgotten something. As I listened to some crappy 1974 Eurovision song on Ken Bruce’s Radio 2 show it hit me!! I got the wine, I got the pringles, I got the Ella’s Gardens, I even got the rice cakes – 6 bags… but I forgot the ice, the bin bags, the batteries in fact half of the bloody list. Well actually this is probably my downfall, there was no list, I had it in my head. So, I thought to myself… use your drive home wisely….start thinking of things to put on your list… and the first thing that came to mind was clean underwear???

I blame my Mother for this. Every day as a child she would say ‘make sure you have clean underwear on’, ‘why’ we would ask? She never mentioned anything about hygiene, oh no, it was ‘in case you get run over by a bus and have to go to hospital’!!! It is really no wonder I have turned out the way I have. Anyway it must have worked as I always remember to put clean underwear on. As a early 20 something living in Kent if I was going into London for a night out I would always put a clean pair in my handbag in case I stayed at a friends or didn’t come home. I never bothered with a can of deodrant, toothbrush or Pjs but I always had clean knickers (and 20 B & H). I am sure if I was run over by a bus the paramedics wouldn’t first check I had clean pants on and then exclaim ‘phew we can treat her, she has clean knickers on’ but thanks to my Mam I am prepared.

I am going to be breaking with tradition and packing my nice pants. I like most women (I think) have a draw full of knickers. Some come up to my armpits, some are like dental floss between my bum cheeks, some are an off-white colour from too many times in the wash – but they are too comfy to bin and some are designed to make me look two dress sizes smaller. Now an adventure like camping would ordinarily mean the comfy knickers but I am throwing caution to the wind and taking my best pants. The reason? Well ladies you will know the feeling well, the one you get when you put an actual matching underwear set on. Yep, a matching set… you feel a million dollars. It is a rare event in my life but I am taking my underwear draw by the handle and binning all but my best knickers. You know the ones, they are the ones when your husband catches sight of them asks ‘who are you meeting today then?’.

I am making a pledge with myself to only wear my best knickers from this day forward so that even though on the outside I may be covered in baby sick and poo underneath I am rocking sexy chick. I may greet the postman in my tracksuit bottoms and some sweat top with holes but underneath…oh yeah! Sexy babe… Not so slummy mummy now eh? It is my little gift to myself and I encourage all you fellow ladies to join my knicker revolution!

Now, apologies it is a short post today but have to dash, I have the big shop to do again, a knicker draw to sort and best have a look for where we put the tent.. Happy Bank Holiday weekend to you all x x


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